


Cause I’m traveling blind (Pretending that I can see)

by Idiotgenius33



Series: Nothing Gold Can Stay [2]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - Peter Survives The Snap, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Ned Leeds Centric, Ned Leeds Needs a Hug, Some Explicit Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idiotgenius33/pseuds/Idiotgenius33
Summary: “We understand that many of you may have friends who have moved on…”“He’s talking about them like they’re dead,” a girl whispered to her friends to Ned’s left. Hadn’t they kind of, in a way. The people they were before at least. Part of everyone died that day. Not just the ones that got snapped. The girls started giggling before getting shushed by a teacher.This made Ned wonder what the first day of school after the snap was like. Did they get a generic ‘things will get better’ speech like this one? Who was left? What was class like with so little students? Did they even offer all the extracurriculars or could they not because there wouldn’t have been enough students to keep it going? This first day should be nothing in comparison to just after the snap when the whole world was grieving. Now, they haven’t lost anyone, it was the opposite, everyone was back. Everyone says they won. He should be happy. Right?“Once again we welcome back all students and we wish everyone the best. You are now dismissed and can go back to your classes.”Ned couldn’t have left any faster.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Nothing Gold Can Stay [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132763
Comments: 11
Kudos: 137





	Cause I’m traveling blind (Pretending that I can see)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from song 2am by Andrew Feldman
> 
> (update, this is a repost of a fic from last year. if you were one of the few that read this a while ago I have made some major edits)

_Ned didn’t talk about that day. No one did. How do you talk about the literal most traumatic day the universe has ever seen? The victims don’t talk. The ones left behind don’t ask. An unspoken agreement._

“Are you excited for your first day of senior year?” his mom asked. 

Ned used to fantasize about his senior year. He’d graduate top of his class, get the girl, go to prom, make it into the school of his dreams. All with his best friend at his side.

“Yeah, of course,” Ned responded smiling. He tried to make it look convincing, even so much as making an effort to crinkle his eyes.

His mom didn’t buy it, but didn’t say otherwise either.

Just as he was about to leave his mom cleared her throat.

He groaned and turned around to see his mom pointing to the fridge.

“Did you eat something?” It wasn’t a question, they both knew he hadn’t.

Ned quickly ran to the kitchen and rummaged around the cupboard, pulling out a granola bar. He hastily opened it and took a bite. 

“There,” he said, mouth still full. “You happy?”

His mom nodded and he took off out the door again. When he reached the doors to the apartment building he walked to the trashcan and spit out the granola bar, tossing the rest away.

When Ned imagined his senior year, he imagined the one from the moves he’d seen as a kid.

But this wasn’t a movie.

He just hoped the year would go by quickly.

//

_Reappearing had been weird, there were no words to describe it. No, it wasn’t painful. It was just you’re there, then you’re not, then you’re there again._

_When Ned was snapped he was on his computer watching any video he could find of the fight in New York. He watched in panic as his friend got carried off into space and hadn’t returned. He didn’t even realize anything was happening until he fell on the floor._

_Confused, he looked around his room only to see it was vastly different. His bed was moved, the paint had changed from its soft blue to a light grey, and worst of all, his Star Wars posters were missing. Instead, a sleek looking office desk sat in front of the window with a bookshelf filled with binders and a couch against the wall. Something happened, a voice in the back of his mind told him, something really bad._

_He continued observing the room when his dad frantically burst into the room._

_“Dad?” Ned asked as he pushed himself off the floor, arms trembling. “What happened? Where’s mom?”_

_Body shaking, his dad took him into his arms in a tight embrace “I-I don’t know,” was all he said._

_They stayed like that until a woman appeared at the doorway carrying a kitchen knife, closely followed by a man trying to push her behind him, but she was having none of it._

_“Who are you and what are you doing in our house?”_

//

The school looked the same on the outside, it was almost as if nothing had changed. That they had just been on summer vacation and now they’re back. _Looks can be deceiving_. As Ned walked the familiar route to the front doors, he tried to focus on taking deep breaths. He saw quite a few people he recognized, like Betty Brant, Jason Ionello, Chris Buongiorno.

“Sup loser,” came a voice from behind.

“Oh my god, Michelle,” Ned yelped. He hadn’t talked or seen her since before the blip. Truthfully, he hadn’t tried very hard to reach out to people because, A: He didn’t have that many friends and B: He was scared of the answer.

“Where's Parker?” she asked. “Thought you guys were attached at the hip or something.”

Ned swallowed.“He didn’t-”

“Oh,” Ned didn’t even need to finish for Michelle to get the message. Her face was mostly unreadable, but there was an underlying sadness? Maybe disappointment was a better word. 

“See you in class Leeds,” she went to leave, but at the last moment hesitated. “Lunch?” she asked over her shoulder.

“Sure,” Ned gaped. Why him, of all people? Michelle normally looks murderous at the idea of any unnecessary socialization.

His unasked question went unanswered because with a nod, Michelle took off into the building.

Turning his gaze to his feet, Ned took a few moments to compose himself before following. Peter wasn’t exactly popular at Midtown, but he was kind of a legend there. It was almost guaranteed that other students or even teachers would ask Ned where he was. 

Today was going to be a long day.

//

_“We welcome all MSST students back, both old and new. We understand that these are strange times…”_

Principal Morita continued to give his welcome back speech, the same one that happens every year. You know, the ones where it’s all ‘we are so happy to have everyone back for another great year!’ super generic and unoriginal. 

_“Teachers have been instructed to take into consideration the circumstances…”_

Ned tuned him out. Instead, he found his eyes wandering through the crowd. He sat at the back of the auditorium making this easy to do without seeming creepy for staring. While scanning the room he saw many people he knew, but half of the room seemed to be filled with many more strange faces. It was almost like the room had divided itself into the survivors and the victims.

_“We, the staff, are here if anyone wishes to talk…”_

Ned knew it was illogical to be surprised at the number of people he didn’t recognize. He knew in his head that he wouldn’t know around half of the school population. But knowing and seeing are two different things. _Seeing is believing_ , that statement has never been truer.

_“We understand that many of you may have friends who have moved on…”_

“He’s talking about them like they’re dead,” a girl whispered to her friends to Ned’s left. _Hadn’t they kind of, in a way. The people they were before at least. Part of everyone died that day. Not just the ones that got snapped._ The girls started giggling before getting shushed by a teacher. 

This made Ned wonder what the first day of school after the snap was like _. Did they get a generic ‘things will get better’ speech like this one? Who was left? What was class like with so little students? Did they even offer all the extracurriculars or could they not because there wouldn’t have been enough students to keep it going?_ This first day should be nothing in comparison to just after the snap when the whole world was grieving. Now, they haven’t lost anyone, it was the opposite, everyone was back. Everyone says they won. _He should be happy. Right?_

_“Once again we welcome back all students and we wish everyone the best. You are now dismissed and can go back to your classes.”_

Ned couldn’t have left any faster.

//

The bell rang, and thank god because Ned was starving. _He probably should’ve taken his mom's advice and eaten in the morning, but what could he say? He wasn’t hungry then._ He quickly threw his books into his backpack while Mr. Dell was trying to yell the homework over everyone talking. _Seriously though, who gives out homework on the first day?_

Ned strategically maneuvered through the busy halls toward his locker where two girls he didn't recognize were standing.

“Okay, but did you hear about Sue and Sebastian?” One girl asked.

“No, are they still dating?” said the other.

“Yes but it’s complicated.”

“Ooo tea. What happened?” she said, eyes widening. _So people still said tea, good to know._

“So Sebastian went on vacation with his parents to Europe where he claims he, and I quote, ‘kept getting hit on by this hot European’ and kept on talking about how she ‘couldn’t keep her hands off him.’ Anyways, so then Sue got all jealous and they started to fight-”

“How do you know all this?”

“My brother is their friend, I overheard the entire thing. Okay back to the story. Then sh-”

“Excuse me,” they both looked up at Ned.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the girl blocking his locker said as she ducked away.

Ned quickly opened his locker and grabbed his lunch before the door got slammed shut.

“Ouch!” said one Brad Davis. He turned, his face a grimace. “Watch where you’re going!” he spat. 

Brad Davis, somewhat of the new Flash Thompson of the school now. Acts all nice at first until you realize he is only nice if it’s of benefit to himself.

“You’re the one that ran into my locker,” Ned deadpans. He could hear the girls from before giggling a little bit.

Brad didn't respond. Instead he pushed past Ned and continued down the hall.

Ned shrugs, looking off to the side.

“YO LOSER!” Michelle called from down the call, “I’ve been waiting for 10 minutes, I thought you died.”

This made Ned smile a bit, at least he seems to have made a new friend.

//

_After explaining to the couple what had happened they were nice enough to let Ned and his dad stay for a bit until the initial chaos wore off a bit. They tried to reach his mom but the number was disconnected, and Peter’s went to voicemail. His dad now sat in the living room browsing news channels looking for any information on what might have happened while Ned was alternating between spamming Peter’s texts and checking trending on Twitter. (#wtf #isthisreal #thesimulationisbroken #reunion) He was so worried for his friend, since the last time he heard from him, he was ON A FREAKING SPACESHIP!_

_There was a knock at the door causing both Ned and his dad’s heads to shoot up. They exchanged a glance before Ned shrugged and stood up._

_He opened the door and what he saw, shocked him._

_In front of him stood his best friend Peter Parker, he looked nervous and fidgety, like how he always acted right before he had to give a presentation. When the door opened Peter’s head shot up looking right at Ned. Ned could vaguely hear his dad asking who was at the door, but he ignored him, practically leaping out the door slamming it shut._

_“PET- oof,” was all Ned got out before being enveloped by an incredibly tight hug. Ned was filled with warmth and reassurance as he melted into the embrace. Peter was okay. He was there. Everything would be fine, he always knew what to do. Peter clung to Ned with a type of desperation. They stayed like that until it got to the point where Ned literally couldn’t take it anymore._

_“Um, buddy?” he managed to say, patting Peter on the shoulder, “Super. Strength. Can’t. Breathe.”_

_Peter quickly let go, wiping his eyes. Was he crying?_

_“S-sorry,” Peter said, his voice was hoarse._

_“Dude, what happened? You went to space! How was it? Does that mean you are an official Avenger now? What is going on? Who were the guys you were fighting? Did you see aliens?” Ned continued firing questions before Peter cut him off._

_“Ned. Ned! HEY!” Peter said, grabbing Ned's arms._

_Ned shut up, now breathing heavily. He looked up and met Peter's eyes. For the first time since Peter arrived, he truly looked at him. His hair was longer and looked less messy than it normally was. His jaw was sharper and his shoulders were broader than the last time he saw Peter, and he had gained more muscle. He had gigantic eye bags, making it look like he hadn't slept in weeks._

_Then there were his eyes. Peter’s eyes had always had a certain look to them, the type that pierced into your soul , and told the story of someone who had seen too much, had too much taken from them. Right now though frantic, and desperate like Ned had never seen. It was almost like if Peter looked away Ned would disappear again. His friend seemed to have changed so much. But how was that possible? He had just seen him this morning. Right?_

_“P-peter,” Ned spoke slowly in a well practiced low tone he used whenever Peter needed to be calmed down after Ben died. “What happened?”_

//

“He then proceeded to explain how his wife fake died from the snap to leave him, and then be burst into tears while the whole class just sat there awkwardly,” Ned explained, waving his arms like a crazy person.

Peter laughed, “Glad to know that Mr. Harrington is as ‘Mr. Hanington-y’ as ever. Wait, is it bad that I’m laughing at another man's misery? Am I a bad person?”

“Probably,” Ned said with a wide grin, “but it was really funny so it doesn’t really matter.”

“So the first day of school wasn’t bad?” Peter asked with his eyebrows raised, “I told you it wouldn’t be worth all of your worrying.”

Ned's smile became strained. “Yeah, no it was fine. Just a lot of awkward icebreakers. I swear if I have to play two truths and a lie one more time I’m gonna lose it.” He didn’t mention how many awkward encounters he had to endure when someone asked him about Peter. 

Peter was about to say something when his phone sent a notification. He rolled his eyes pulling it out of his pocket.

“Shit,” he mumbled, although Ned can hear him quite clearly. Peter looked up guiltily. 

Ned sighed. “You have to go I’m guessing?”

“I’m so sorry man, I promised you that I could hang out tonight-” Ned cuts him off.

“What is it?”

“Robbery in progress, hostages have been taken,” Peter said, pulling his clothes off and slipping into the spider-man suit. Refusing to meet Ned’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

Peter is about to jump out the window when Ned calls out.

“Hey, maybe I could be your guy in the chair?”

Peter looks back, “Don’t worry about it, man.it’s just a robbery, I’ve got this handled.” With that, he flipped off the wall and began to swing away.

“Okay. Umm. Bye. I guess.” Ned said to himself. He stared at the window where Peter was for a good 10 minutes.

//

“Do you know the answer to question 14?”

“Which part? A or B?”

“Ugh,” Ned looked down at his page, “Both?”

Michelle made a huff sound as she flipped her page around so Ned could see it from the other side of the table.

“Thanks,” he said and quickly copied her answer.

“Whatever loser,” Michelle said, flipping her page back around.

They continue doing their homework in silence. Well, as silent as a cafetera full of teens can get. They’ve only been back in school for a week now and the homework load is already massive.

“Do you still talk to Peter?” Michelle said out of the blue. 

Ned looked at her, eyebrows raised. She hasn't mentioned Peter since the first day.

“Um, yeah I guess. He’s just really busy right now,” Ned had barely talked to Peter since he took off out his window. Everytime he tried, Peter was pulled away by a meeting, an important phone call, or spiderman business.

“Oh. How’s he doing?” Now this made Ned curious, Michelle _never_ showed interest in small talk. She’d much rather get straight to the point.

“Why do you care about Peter all of a sudden?” Ned asked.

“I-I don’t,” Michelle blushed. Michelle stuttering AND blushing? The world must be ending.

Ned smirked but before he could say anything, someone approached from behind.

“Hey MJ,” Ned turned his head around to see one and only Brad Davis, survivor of the snap, new heartthrob of MSST, and class A douchebag.

“Don’t call me that,” Michelle said, she still hadn’t looked up from her paper. “What do you want Brad?” 

“Some friends and I were gonna hang out after school. Ya know, grab something to eat at McDonalds, go see a movie, you interested?”

“I refuse to support the corporation's contribution to the mistreatment of animals and destruction of the environment.”

Brad looked taken aback, “Oh, well we don’t have t-”

“I have plans, sorry.” Ned knew for a fact that she did not have plans.

“Okay, well how about tomorrow?”

“Busy,” Michelle said curtly.

“Friday?” Brad looked annoyed now.

“I said no,” Michelle looked up from her paper shooting deadly glares in Brad's direction.

“Look, I could have any girl I want but you were lucky enough that I chose you, maybe just try to be a little bit grateful,” Brad said through gritted teeth.

“Dude she said no.” Ned said. Brad looked at Ned for the first time, like he hadn’t noticed he was there.

“Listen, she wants this, she just doesn’t know that,” Brad said to Ned.

“Excuse me?” Michelle said disgusted, she looked ready to punch him, but Brad continued addressing Ned.

“So why don’t you stay out of where you’re clearly not wanted, just shut up because from what I hear, Parker is not here to save you,” he sneered, stepping closer to Ned, his fists balled.

Michelle grabbed Neds arm, pulling him out of his chair, and flipped Brad off.

“Let’s go,” she said, packing up her books. “The smell of toxic-masculinity in this cafeteria is killing my brain cells.”

They walked through the hall in silence.

Ned went to speak, “Are yo-”

“I had that handled,” Michelle said, cutting him off.

“I- sorry,” Ned said, “are you okay though?”

“100%” they took a few more steps.

“Thanks,” Michelle said quickly.

“Oh, umm. No problem. Michelle” Ned stuttered, although he wasn’t sure if it sounded like an actual sentence.

Michelle glanced at Ned from the corners of her eye before going back to staring ahead, the corners of her lips turned up a bit.

“My friends call me MJ.”

//

“I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM, IT’S YOU THAT REFUSES TO LEAVE THAT STUPID BOYFRIEND OF YOURS!”

“I WAS ALONE FOR 5 YEARS! I HAD TO MOVE ON! YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO JUST DROP THE LIFE I MADE FOR MYSELF AND JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE!”

Ned could hear them shouting through the front door. His parents have had a… rocky relationship at best since getting back. Once Ned and his dad found his mom, they discovered that in those 5 years she had found a boyfriend that she has now been dating for 2 years. 

Ned was really happy that she was able to find some semblance of happiness again, truly he was. He met his mom’s boyfriend once in the 4 months they’d been back. His name was Jack and he seemed like a nice guy. He was there for his mom when Ned and his dad couldn’t be, and he treated her well. He honestly didn’t have anything against the guy. His dad on the other hand...

_“You’re a sick son of a bitch if you think you can waltz in and take advantage of my wife while she was in a fragile mental state AND now you’re here trying to tear MY FAMILY APART? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!”_

Let's just say, there’s a reason that Ned’s only met the guy once.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”

“MAYBE, I DON’T KNOW, BREAK UP WITH THE GUY! I, AM YOUR HUSBAND, NOT HIM!”

“WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS! IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE!”

“THEN MAKE IT! I AM SICK OF PLAYING THIS GAME WHILE YOU RUN AROUND WITH SOME OTHER GUY! WE ARE MARRIED FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!”

“WELL MAYB-”

Seeing that the argument wasn’t going to end anytime soon, Ned opened the door. Both his parents froze. They were standing in the middle of the kitchen and both looked ready to punch something or someone. His dad was the first to recover.

“H- hey son,” he stammered. “How was school?”

“Good, I guess,” Ned responded, fiddling with the straps of his backpack. _Well, this is awkward._

His mom cleared her throat. “Did yo- umm, did you by any chance, ugh, catch what we were erm… discussing?”

“No,” Ned lied, he was pretty sure the whole building could hear them. “Why? Was it important?”

Both his parents let out a small sigh of relief. “Oh, it was nothing.” _Those liars._

Ned stood in the living room for a few more seconds before realizing that his parents were both waiting for him to say something.

“O-oh, ugh,” Ned fumbled, “I’m just gonna...” he said, pointing to his room.

“Erm, of course,” his dad said sheepishly.

“Dinner might be a bit late tonight,” his mom said at the same time.

“Yeah, no worries,” Ned smiled. He knew it looked fake, but his parents were fooled.

After all, it’s easy to see what you want to believe.

//

Ned was deeply immersed in his physics homework. _You know those memes where it’s like ‘a soccer ball has a 20 cm diameter and is dropped from a height of 7 m, calculate the density of the moon?’ Yeah, those aren’t an exaggeration. That’s literally what all his physics homework feels like_. Anyway, Ned was neck-deep in papers and textbooks when he heard a faint tapping.

He lifted his head and scanned the room for the noise. His eyes fell on his window where he saw Peter Parker crouching on the fire escape.

“Dude,” Ned said as he opened the window. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know,” Peter said, he let out a small grunt as he hopped through the window. “Just thought I’d swing by.”

“Have I ever told you that your puns have gotten worse since the snap,” Ned deadpanned.

“Hey! No need to be rude. Respect your elders,” Peter said jokingly. He looked up, “alright what's wrong?”

“Technically, we were only born 3 months apart. ”

“Come on dude we’ve been friends since elementary school, I know that face,” Peter said as he rolled onto Ned's bed. He then sat up with knowing eyes. “Was it your parents again?”

Ned didn’t say anything, “So where have you been, we haven’t talked since the first day of school.”

Peter’s face softened as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah I’m really sorry about that,” he said looking at his shoes. “It’s just the company and everything is still so new. It's just starting to take off, not to mention Harry has my schedule swamped with meetings for sponsors and patents.”

Ned felt a pang of jealousy. Of course, he’s heard of the famous Harry Osborn, Peter’s new best friend and co-head of Parker Industries. It was named Parker Industries because Harry didn’t want the Osborn name to ruin the reputation of the company due to the whole ‘Norma Osborn being a maniac flying around the city in a Halloween costume’ thing. Harry took care of the business side of things and Peter was behind the science and research. Or as Peter put it _‘the irrelevant whatever side vs the not brain dead side.’_

“It’s whatever,” Ned waved it off. He was kind of used to it after months of the same thing.

“Hey, I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Peter asked, “I just came to try and make it up to you for leaving so suddenly the last time.”

“Just physics,” Ned said, pointing to his desk. “I was kinda in the middle of my homework.”

“Oh, ugh, I can leave if you need to fini-”

“No no, It’s fine really,” Ned rushed as he sat down in his desk chair. “I was on the last question anyway.”

“What’s the question,” Peter walked over to the desk.

“Mars orbits the Sun with a mean radius of orbit of 2.28 ´ 1011 m and a period of 5.94 ´ 107 seconds. The universal gravitational constant is 6.67 ´ 10–11 Nm2/kg2. Calculate the speed of Mars as it orbits the Sun.”

“The answer's 2.41 ´ 105 m/s. Man,” Peter laughed. “I don’t think Mr. Harrington has changed his teaching at all. I’m pretty sure we had this exact same question 5 years ago.”

Ned blinked at Peter. “How?”

“Well the given is R = 2.28 ´ 1011 m and T = 5.94 ´ 107 seconds and the unknown is v so you just use the equati- What?” Peter laughed at the expression on Ned's face.

“I know how to do it,” Ned said, slapping Peter’s arm. “But I forgot your weird ability where you can just do that all in your head. That took you, what? Not even 2 seconds.”

Peter rubbed his arm where Ned hit him, even though it probably didn’t hurt at all. He smiled, “Who you callin’ weird? You’re just jealous of my skills.” 

“God when did your ego get so inflated?”

“I guess that’s just what happens when you spend almost all day surrounded by rich pompous dicks telling you how great you are.”

“They obviously don’t know you at all.”

“Yeah well- is that the lego death star?” Ned looked over to a box of lego parts in the corner of his room.

“Um, yeah. My mom took all my legos apart after the snap but kept the big ones,” he said sheepishly. Does Peter think he’s still childish for having legos?

“That’s sick, we should build it?” Peter was staring at the box like it held the secrets to the universe.

Ned's head snapped up. “R-really,” he asked. “You don’t think it’s too childish or something?”

“What? No, of course not.” Peter looks at Ned, brows furrowed. “Whoever thinks lego is childish isn’t living life to the fullest. Now are we gonna start or not?”

Ned smiled from ear to ear. “Yeah let’s do it!”

Peter raced over and dumped the lego all over the floor as Ned laughed at how excited he was. As they built the death star they talked and joked just like old times. 

And for a moment, they could both pretend as though nothing had changed.


End file.
